Did you know that about half of all adults in the US above the age of 18 are married? Marriage is a big step, and the ceremony is often seen as one of the biggest days in the bride's and groom's life.
When it comes to the wedding speech and toast, don't be the guy or gal everyone remembers for all the wrong reasons! Have you ever been to a wedding where the best man gives a toast that's, well...embarrassing?
Don't make light of the wedding speech, because it's a big deal!
Here are 11 pro tips for understanding and giving the perfect wedding speech. Let the wedding party remember you for all the right reasons.
Jump to:
- Who Gives a Wedding Speech?
- 1. Prepare Yourself
- 2. Don't Imbibe Until After Your Speech
- 3. Introduce Yourself
- 4. Be True to Yourself
- 5. Congratulations and Thanks
- 6. Keep It Short
- 7. Eye Contact
- 8. Never talk About the Ex
- 9. Keep It G-Rated
- 10. Borrow from the Best
- 11. Talk to the Wedding Planner
- Delivering a Great Wedding Speech
Who Gives a Wedding Speech?
Are you wondering if you're the one giving a wedding speech? The traditional speakers are:
- The best man
- The maid of honor
- The father of the bride
- The bride
- The groom
Every wedding is different, and the bride and groom can change things up however they like. If you're any of the above, though, the guests expect you to give a speech and toast.
Don't forget to give the happy couple a special wedding gift too. Are you still wondering what you'll give them? Here's a unique and special wedding gift idea.
What should you do about the speech?
1. Prepare Yourself
Put some thought into delivering a wedding speech. Don't think you can walk up there and wing it, even if you're a great speaker and even if you gave them the best gift ever.
You don't have to write it out word for word, but at least make a brief outline of the most important points. Respect the happy couple by showing them you took some time and thought preparing for their special day.
2. Don't Imbibe Until After Your Speech
If you're a drinker, keep the alcohol on hold until after delivering your wedding speech. A drunken speech is funny in the movies but not so much in real life.
Respect the couple and the other attendees and stay sober, at least until after your speech.
3. Introduce Yourself
Although many guests will know you already, chances are, many of them won't. Introduce yourself and let the guests know how you met the bride or groom.
A short, funny anecdote about how you met warms up your audience. Keep it sweet and family-friendly. Mention one or two things that are special about the couple.
4. Be True to Yourself
Are you a serious person? Don't worry about making your speech funny. Are you sentimental? Then tell a good story about the bride or groom that touched you.
Be honest, talk about your relationship with the couple, why it's special to you, and why you admire them.
5. Congratulations and Thanks
Congratulate the bride and groom and thank everyone for coming. If you're the bride or groom, this part differs a little.
The groom thanks everyone for coming and thanks his parents and spouse's parents. He also thanks the best man and ushers as well as the maid of honor and bridesmaids.
The bride has the same list of people to thank. The bride should also thank her besties who weren't at the wedding party.
6. Keep It Short
Don't make your wedding speech too long. This is good for those who don't like public speaking anyway!
There are only a few things you're doing here:
- Introducing yourself
- Explaining your relationship to the couple
- Sharing a couple of special memories about the bride or groom (or both)
- Congratulating the couple
- Thanking everyone
- Wishing them a happy future
That's it! About three minutes works great, and avoid going over 10 minutes.
7. Eye Contact
Public speaking is scary for many people. This causes some people to look at their feet or hands or anywhere that distracts them from what they're doing.
Think about the fact that you're doing this for someone else. Don't worry about looking bad. No one is going to judge you unless you're sloppy drunk (see point #2!).
Eye contact is important. Look at the person or people you're toasting. Show them your sincerity and they'll be happy.
8. Never talk About the Ex
In trying to be humorous, some people bring up the ex. Bad idea. Never bring up the exes.
Don't spend a lot of time talking about yourself either. A personal anecdote that includes the bride, groom, or both is fine. Don't let the word "I" dominate your speech.
9. Keep It G-Rated
Even if it's a no-kids reception, keep your wedding speech appropriate for all audiences. Remember that not everyone appreciates raunchy humor.
Parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles of the bride and groom may not appreciate your brand of humor if it involves swearing or dirty jokes. A little innuendo is fine, but keep it clean.
Avoid too many "inside" or personal jokes. The guests expect that they won't be privy to everything, but limit the inside jokes to one or two.
10. Borrow from the Best
Are you struggling with what to say? Borrow a poem or quote from a well-known writer or speaker. Use it as a jumping-off point for your own speech.
Shakespeare, Rumi, Lord Byron, and Wordsworth all had a lot to say about love. Throw in a direct quote or use one or more of them for inspiration.
Crowdsourcing from other friends and relatives can also help with your speech. Siblings and other close friends can offer you sweet and funny anecdotes that can liven up your speech.
11. Talk to the Wedding Planner
Avoid asking the bride and groom questions on the day of the wedding or during the reception. Talk to the wedding planner to coordinate delivering your wedding speech. Discuss table decoration with beautiful tablecloth linens also.
Make sure you're available in case the coordinator needs to find you for any last-minute changes.
Delivering a Great Wedding Speech
Use these 11 tips and you'll give a memorable and fantastic wedding speech! It's the couple's day so make the speech about them and never mention an ex.
Prepare yourself, and keep it short and sweet as well as family-friendly. Don't forget the all-important congratulations and thanks, and remain sober while doing so.
Don't be afraid to crowdsource and borrow from the poets. You've got this!
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